Adieu

I had stopped writing for ages now, I regret it. Even the psychologists say to put your thoughts into writing not only because it’s a good practice, but it keeps you at peace with your inner self. I think I lost that friendship long ago, since then there has always been a rough feud between my mind and heart. I have always been a storehouse of emotions...overtly emotional you can say. Sometimes I complained to God for creating me like this, as if it were some kind of an unspeakable disease. As I write this I do not wish you to feel sympathetic towards me because that would hurt my never smoldering ego. I am like this. Sometimes I feel like bursting into tears for all the rejections that I had faced, all the heartaches, betrayals but then I feel I’m strong and capable of controlling myself .But for how long? When I see you happy and contended without me, my heart pains ...I feel as if I had been struck by a bow...piercing my heart...Oh! the excruciating pain which I had felt !...Even before I could properly comprehend what I was experiencing another wave of emotion hit me like a bee sting .This was not at all welcoming rather it was pretty frustrating. I was feeling very hot from outside and sensed a burning from inside...but the real question was why?...didn’t I show the one, who I thought had wronged me in so many different ways, and to the rest of the world that I was a strong woman and better off without such meagre-likes like him .Then suddenly why this suffering? I should be satisfied that what I intended upon having is ultimately mine i.e. peace. But then peace is a tricky word and in my case pretty delusional. I had never been truly happy since then and could feel a budding restlessness mounding inside me which can lash out like an angry serpent’s poison-filled tongue at anyone who brought about anger or displeasure in me.

....Until one day I read two sayings, which described my state very well:

1) “ If you don’t get what you want you suffer ; if you get what you don’t want , you suffer ; even when you get exactly what you want , you still suffer because you cannot hold on to it forever .Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality”-Socrates.

2) “Forgiveness is not always easy. At times it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one who inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness”.

....From that day, I promised to forgive you from my heart without judging whether you or I were at fault not because of your but for my own good. I prayed to God to give me the strength to forget all bitterness and remember you as a happy memory. And since then I have been happy and contended.

21 years of a subtler!!!!!

as the wise and the old say-time,surely, flies!!!

                                Planned to write my next blog on the 14th of july cuz it was my birthday. but my pc was literally dead with the smps problem and hence couldn't do so.but what exactly was i going to write,anyway??? it was my birthday.....hence i wanted to write about the sweet little nothings that my loved ones did for me, which delighted me...... starting from a series of phone calls,texts from relative to friends to a surprise b'day cake from dad....i loved every bit of it. i also wanted to write a synopsis of the 21 yrs of my life which would mostly comprise of my opinion about myself.
                    
                          Today as i logged on to my facebook page, i saw an update from maybelline india which offered a pack of goodies as the prize for a contest. all i had to do was write about the qualities that made me unique.it was not for the goodies,but for the topic mainly,that triggered my interest. this is what i wrote.hope you enjoy it.
                     
                                  

The qualities that make me unique

Although some(the modest ones) would like to differ,but on an average,every 21st century girl loves to talk about herself. ;) ,if given a chance. I ,being no exception, really had a ball writing this article!first things first....speaking of qualities,in my opinion these are the traits that cannot be judged by oneself....because if a person does so,he/she is bound to be partial,to a slight extent and hence should always be judged by others.but as maybelline has asked for my opinion about myself,....i will try to be impartial as far as possible and reflect upon both my positive and negative qualities. Moreover, i think that qualities are mostly abstract kind of things and exhibits ones inner self and hence serve as the cornerstone of ones personality.

            

               Regarding my positive qualities i would like to disclose that i am a very loyal and down to earth sort of girl. In these 21 years of my life , i can swear upon anything,that i have never lied to my parents. I hate to boss over people. I love my family and friends immensely and would never give up on them for anything. I'm open-minded and every decision of my life is based upon rational thinking.i'm very expressive and spontaneous. I like to take charge of any situation,if needed, at the time of crisis. Mom and quiet a few people say that i can sing very well.

              As far my negative qualities are concerned, i can opine that i am a little possessive-i like to cling to things/people be it a chocolate wrapper(the chocolate being presented by my ex) to all the people whom i love! I am hugely sentimental and as a result get easily hurt. I really have a matured outlook, which projects a misinterpretation to the people of my age revealing me as pretty stuck-up at several occasions. Regarding emotional turmoils i like to keep them to myself. I like to be reserved at times and its better to leave me alone during that period. I believe that every person needs some space and easily get irritated by people who do not agree with me regarding this point. I do not like interference which again projects me as a snob at times. Sorry cannot help it.

              Okay! enough of blowing my own trumpet! I can only say that these are the qualities that i have on the whole. Now its for you to decide whether they are unique or not since " Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder."

CHILD'S PLAY

I like the frosted white,
Of the snowy mountains and the moony light.
Not the roaring red ,.......its a bit too loud !
Silly streets, full of crowd.


I like the bouncing blue ,
Of the skies , oceans , seas and river -------
Blackish night , dusty leaves , foggish street lamps------
And dreams of my knight in shining armour.


Of late , I have grown up.
Like a seed that sprouts in due time.
Playing with dolls , going for joyrides seems an old school rhyme!
Oh ! How I wish for those longing hands that used to hold my fingers ,
Time has flown , in its own , but the longing still lingers!


Nowadays I'm a little preoccupied----
With the battle called life ,
Joining the rat race here and there ;
Reaching for the stars and fighting every moment to survive.
"RUN" ---- I should , "SUCCEED" I must ;
The long lost childhood, peeps through my lonely heart ,
As life around me ,moves on fast.........

JIBON NODIR OPARE!!!

jibon manei chhera canvas,
elomelo range bhora-
jibon manei odhora madhuri,shohoje deye na dhora.
jibon manei banchar lorai-
ram-raboner judhyo;
ke je ram?ke-i ba rabon?
kara shantipriya?karai ba bikhubdhyo?


achalyotoner bhit aaj tolomolo,
bhangon dhorechhe tate-
rurho bastob diyechhe dhora apon mohimate.


biswoshomaj metechhe aaj bhoyal ranger khelay,
swatota tai hariye gechhe,bhekdharider melay.
e je aaj kemon khela?--na jani tar shonga,
manush hoye manusher-i kachhe chaichhe rokto-ganga!


tai dhikkar ei manob jonom,jonmechhi ei deshe,
pai jeno shudhu shanti ma go,tomay bhalobeshe.

......THE F-WORD......

BEFORE you guys permit your minds to wander through the
territories of insolence ,i would like to tell that for me The F-word means family and friends.Dating back to the origin of human civilization , the wise and the old have said ,time and again,that human is a social animal.Although he comes alone to this earth,buthe cannot survive alone lifelong.A man who says that he can live alone throughout hislifetime without anyone's support is a liar.
Here,comes the concept of family.A family , in its true sense , forms the backbone of a man's personality.From birth , apart from all the phenotypic
characters ,it helps in building up his moral character and taste.The family treads
through the realms of commitments and social boundaries. The support from hisfamily ,
helps a man to come out of his comfort zone and fight against all odds in order to live upto his own expectations.A true family , in my opinion,is one that supports you in anydamn situation, not just because they've no other option ,but they love you and take pridein doing so.A man's family members are the only people whom he can expect tofind ,standing beside him,both in his sunny and cloudy days.To me family is the cornerstone of a man's existence.
Next comes the concept of friends.But before we talk about this touchy topic, i would also like to say that in order to make friends a person has to be non-egoistic, selfless to some extent and of course friendly.Again,the family factor intrudes upon the "friend-zone".In my opinion it is the family which teaches us to become selfless and to live for others.As far the friends are concerned we are all well aware of the saying,"a friend in need,is a friend indeed" and trust me this saying is true to its core.One may find thousands of results, if he googles this particular word,but for me a true friend
is defined as a person who gives constant support , shows faith in you even in a loss-loss situation , really becomes a synonym for your shadow and above all helps you to differentiate between good and bad.
The point of telling all this , is that nowadays , it seems as though people have forgotten the meanings of these specific words. I don't blame them.Since I know that this issue is far more grave.With each passing moment of life man is becoming more selfish,inclined or rather limited to his own needs.As a result joint families have died giving rise to nuclear ones.Friends have turned into foes and so on and so forth.Hence it is my earnest request to all my readers that from this instance, try to rise above all differences, shed off your inhibitions and work towards making the world a better place to live in, as it is never too late,friends and also because "UNITED WE STAND DIVIDED WE FALL".

CLEANING CRAP!!!!

While returning from the college today,i got stuck ,as usual,in the sealdah overbridge traffic.as the driver of the semi-crowded bus killed its engine,my eyes darted through the side-window.many of you are well aware of this minute and so called insignificant detail;many others may have noticed it too---what i am talking about is ,a dumpyard near the sealdah railway station!

people start frowning whenever they are compelled to pass by a dumpyard.the reason not just being the obnoxious smell that it emits;but i feel there is something more to it.it is an inborn trait of some people occupying the upper echelons of the society to mistreat the lower strata,although they seem to possess no particular reason to justify such demeaning behaviour!the lady sitting behind me (in the bus)was no exception!she started expressing her disgust towards the garbage-cleaners and vehemently criticized there means of livlihood.

i could have silenced her within a minute,but did not do so,as there is no use shouting to a deaf ear! instead i shifted my attention to a family residing in one corner of the dumpyard,busy with there lives,occupation and daily sorrows and happiness.witnessing a moment of their togetherness, my heart silently told the lady behind ,if you are not sympathetic towards others,if you don't care about them,the world won't care about you!having said that,i realized that these people clean the filth from the society to make it look pristine rather fit for living. then also, the irony of their lives is such that these people are looked down as the outcasts of the society!

MAN AND WILD............

1/27/2011 3:50:40 PM


God created man and gave him qualities of superior grade to rule the world. As a matter of fact, he also provided him with humane feelings and expected him to behave wisely as compared to the other animals living on this planet.Many say that the most elegant creature God has ever made is Man. But i would like to differ ,humbly. Nowadays with the regular news of innumerable number of murders,stealths,terrorism,accidents,slaughterings of innocent people in the name of politics etc, I feel that Man has aptly reverted back towards its initial point of evolution i.e. APES ! It is really shameful to point out that the misdeeds that happen these days forces bloggers like me to say that apes are more sophisticated than Man!Actually, I think that the problem is with the time. Time's changing!!...with the passing age ,Man is becoming more self centred,always trying to thrive for his own betterment , without thinking of the betterment of his surroundings and hence the world. With such an attitude the progress of the society becomes stagnant. Remembering the lines of Tagore , ...."where the mind is without fear".....i would like to request that come let us join hands and fight against all odds to make the world a better place to live in.